I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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