she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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