As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think I sprained my soul last night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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