...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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