Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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