I don't think brook has ever known best
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
