even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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