i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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