well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
