mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
