and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
