If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
