I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
