It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize