I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
