Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
