The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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