Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
