is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think your dad took our porno
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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