Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
