Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
