i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
