Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Every concussion has its silver lining
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
