so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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