I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
