Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
