I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
