Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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