True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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