I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
