Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
