i would punch a child for taco bell
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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