you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
