Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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