He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
