There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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