Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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