Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
