I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
