Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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