When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just had sex bonerless
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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