Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
