so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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