i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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