Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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