Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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