question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
