im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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