I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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