the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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