Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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