Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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