i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
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I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
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You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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