Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize