Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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